If you were given an unexpected 21% raise, would you ask for more? The answer for most of us is we would be so surprised that the thought of asking for more wouldn’t cross our minds. The reality is there is a high cost when we don’t ask.
This episode explores three stories of opportunities where women could have asked, and didn’t and the cost that resulted by not asking. You may see a little of yourself in the real-life examples and that is o.k.! It has happened to all of us… where we look back and think: “if I only I had asked!” Here is a blueprint to creating a habit of asking and the rewards that will happen when you do it on a regular basis.
- Take A Look Back In Time. Think about the past five days. Was there a situation where it didn’t even occur to you to ask for something? Perhaps you knew there was something you wanted but didn’t ask? Write down the details of the experience.
- Take Note of How You Felt. Regret is something that we all have but it is what we do to move forward that counts. If you are feeling wistful that you should have asked-don’t worry you can change it next time!
- Create an Alternative Storyline. Now think about what could have happened if you did ask…and how it makes you feel.
- Look Forward in Time. Think about the next 5 days. Is there a meeting or opportunity in the where you may have the chance to step outside of your comfort zone and ask for something important to you?
- Anticipate Questions In Advance. Create a play book of things you might ask for in different scenarios. Perhaps you want to have a one-on-one with a leader in your company. Are you looking to get stakeholder buy-in and need support? Imagine situations where the opportunity to ask will occur and practice what you would say to achieve a positive outcome.
- Make an Ask Success List. Each time you ask someone for something-keep a log on the outcomes. Even if the answer to a question didn’t quite turn out the way you hoped, write it down. Sometimes the hardest thing in making progress is taking the first step. Taking action is so important. Keep this list on your smartphone or someplace that is easily accessible. Refer to the list when you have doubts and it will reinforce the positive habit of asking for what you want.
This is your time. Don’t leave anything on the table-ask for it. You are worth it!
If you would like more insights about building courage, and asking for what you want, reach out to me, I would be honored to help you.
Resource: Check out episode 30 on Negotiations and the steps you can take to get to yes.