Have you ever had something happen to you that made question yourself? This is a loaded question and yet we often don’t think about the thoughts we have every day and how it impacts our relationships, career and the way we communicate. Dove did an experiment where they placed two signs above a door-one said average and one said beautiful. They did this all over the world and the response was the same. Women either walked through beautiful and smiled or went through average and doubted.
Here is what one woman said: “Am I choosing because of what is constantly bombarded at me, what I am being told, or what I believe?” The question of how people see us and what we see impacts our confidence as demonstrated here.
Let’s look at how we can crack our own “confidence code”-using the book “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman as our inspiration. Because with confidence and a slight mind shift, you will be amazed at the things you can feel, share and become at work and in your personal life.
When we recognize our current thoughts and behaviors, understand their causes and effects and resolve to developing new behaviors, the habits will form into new actions and will take you where you want to go.
3 Common Personal Beliefs:
- The way we see ourselves in the mirror isn’t how others see us-this disconnect is limiting our ability to feel good about ourselves.
- After we do something, say something or express something-we second guess that action-and think about it over and over and that self-assessment is holding us back from moving on.
- One of the biggest challenge that women have is the need to fill in all the boxes and have the perfect solution. The pursuit of perfectionism can limit our confidence.
How can we change the conversation?
- Embrace our image. If you aren’t sure how to do this-watch the Dove Real Beauty sketches – You’re more beautiful than you think you are!
- Failure is your friend. When we realize how many failures mankind has made in order to discover greatness it liberates our minds and we can stop wondering “what if…” and think “now this”.
- Accept 90% is good enough. If you strive for 110% and resist less than that, it hinders success in the end. Kim Feil, CEO of BizHiv shared in an interview– how perfectionism slows down progress.
Now there is one last thing to do in order to cracking the code: banish negative self-talk. This is that nagging voice in our heads that says “I am not good enough, not worthy or fill in the blank”. You are thinking well that is easy to say but how can I really do this?
2 Empowering Things To Ban Negative Beliefs:
- Keep a log of kindness. when people send you a note of gratitude or share something that you did that was exceptional save it. Look at those words when you start to experience those negative thoughts.
- Find a friendtor. I am so very grateful to my friendtor of two years Susan Crawford whom I met-in the Courageous Confidence Club. Find someone who can relate to you and will help lift you up.
Now it is your turn to do something for yourself-to take ACTION.
3 Steps To Boosting Your Confidence
- Write down 3 things you want to do try differently to boost your confidence.
- Put these words in a weekly reminder to yourself in your calendar.
- Check back in 90 days look back and see how different and empowered you feel.
If you like this topic, I would be so honored if you would share this post with a friend or colleague. And if you have a question, comment or need help with confidence, reach out to me. I love hearing from you!
The topic “Cracking the Confidence Code” was featured in a panel discussion that Natalie Benamou gave at the Healthcare Businesswomen’s Association (HBA) National Conference along with Roz Usheroff, Cat Bui and Wendy White. Natalie also led panel discussions for HBA Chicago and HBA Michigan. The topic was developed from the book “The Confidence Code” by Katty Kay and Claire Shipman.
Dove-has many YouTube videos to help inspire women to show their natural beauty.